Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A guy's dating profile picture: Don't Post!!

This is Part II of a 3-Part Series.

Photos that Guys Should Avoid Posting
1) By the computer's warm glow.
Okay, get rid of all sketchy lighting, please. A dark room.  A pillow shot with only the flash of the camera.  A computer screen bringing out the green of your skin.  Good lighting will make you look good, warm, approachable. Avoid all others.

2) All suited up...for work.
Are you going to a friend's wedding in a suit, or are you wearing a tux for a night out with the boys?  Go for it!  But if you have a professional "I'm a solid bet for your investment" picture--suit or not--you will be attracting women who are looking for a guy with a certain kind of a job.  They may also be excited to see the warmth of your personality.  Now, some professional photographers do great, more relaxed professional shots.  But please, don't include only those pictures.  It makes us feel like we're flipping through a 17-year-old's senior picture photo session.

3) Surrounded by hot girls.
If it's with your best girl friend on her wedding day, rock it.  If it's with the wholesome girl next door who is near and dear to your heart, be careful.  If it's with your relatives, go for it.  And if it's with the hot girls who let you and your roommate stand next to them to take a picture while out at the bar, don't do it!!!  It comes across that you're trying to prove that you interact with hot girls.  Or it scares off other "don't consider themselves to be comparably hot" girls because they think that the women in your photos reflect your expectations.

4) Disproportionate number of self-taken pictures.
This makes it seem like the only person who wants to hang out with you is....you.  And that you're the only one who knows how to make yourself look attractive.  We envision you getting ready for a beer at Applebee's with your best guy bud at 9p.m., catching yourself in the mirror, and then thinking, "Man, I don't get more cleaned up than this."  You then proceed to take 20 mirror pictures, and we see the supposed best.  Just doesn't paint a pretty picture.  Cap yourself at ONE self-taken at home picture or in the car, and TWO self-taken out-and-about pictures (assuming you're having some other pictures mixed in, too).  See travel pictures below.

5) Post-bet or post-winter pictures.
Maybe you placed a bet to grow out your moustache as long as possible.  Maybe NoShave November turned into a GrizzlyMan contest.  Whatever it is, you got furry and sordid, but your mom and your friends all commented on how great you looked once you shaved.  So you hold onto that picture.  The picture to show that you once did honor your inner beast, and now you're posting it to attract ladies.  Different suggestion.  Love that photo, print it out, frame it, put it on your fridge or in your bathroom.  Own it, man, and commemorate away.  Just not on your "hey, let's meet up" picture.   (Caveat: if that's the one picture of you making it to the top of Everest or of you meeting an important politician, sure, go ahead, take a gamble and post it.)

6)  Letting your tongue hang out or throwing signs.
I hate that this needs its own category.  Notice that women who are in the pictures where men are sticking out their tongues are rarely looking charmed or happy to see that.  It might be hilarious, though! I might just not understand it because I have never met you and I don't know you and the friends in that picture!!!  Well, that is all correct.  And the people who are looking at your profile don't know you yet or know the context of that photo's moment.

7) Looking off in the distance.
So, if there's even the suggestion that you're looking at friends, at the sunset, or at something else, it's not a big deal.  But when you're looking at the wall to give us your profile, when you're looking off-center at your computer screen so you can see the webcam's image, or when you're

And a couple other hints: 
Stop blurring or black-boxing out your ex-girlfriends and other people who were in the picture with you.  Either crop or use a different picture.  It's kind of 2005 to blur/black box a person out.
Avoid the "does this make me look hot?" screening for your photos.  Focus more on the "does this make me look approachable enough that a person would want to interact with me?" angle.  After all, we have to talk with you before doing anything with your hotness.  Now, if you can be hot and approachable, all the power to you.

You are currently in Part II of a 3-part series.
See the starting logic of this series here in Part 1.

See more about what you SHOULD post here.

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